Taken by the Wind » Travel Lit

Travel, Soul Mates and a Book about Mormons

Reannon Muth — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 02:38:03 +0000

"Where my Heart is" by fwooper

I just finished reading Elna Baker‘s memoir, The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance. In it, she recounts the struggles she faced as a 26-year-old Mormon virgin looking for true love in New York city. She’s a funny writer and her insight into the Mormon faith was interesting and informative. Now 30, Elna is no longer a virgin or a Mormon but a successful writer. She made the very personal announcement in an essay she wrote for Glamour, “Guess What? I’m not a Virgin Anymore!”

Though I wasn’t raised Mormon or even religious, I loved Elna’s voice (the chapter about her trip to Tanzania is hilarious) and could relate to her as a traveler. Elna split her childhood between Washington, London and Spain (her family moved around a lot because of her father’s job). Here’s an excerpt from a conversation she had with her co-worker about soul mates that I found particular relevant to life as a travelholic.

“Vinny,” I began. ”Do you believe in soul mates?”

He thought about my question. ”Nah,” he shook his head. ”Take my wife – she grew up five blocks from me, only we didn’t meeet till we were thirty-five. I’d been in the army, I’d traveled the world, and still I married a girl from Astoria, Queens. What are the odds that my soul mate grew up five blocks away? Is it fate? No. In the end, people just marry other people who are like them.”

I was disappointed by his answer, but nodded my head.

“You know what your problem is?” he continued.

“What?”

“You believe a buncha different things, you’ve lived in a buncha different places, and now, nobody’s like you.”

“Thanks, Vinny. No one tells you what being unique actually means: that you’ll die alone.”

That quote reminded me about something I’d read about ‘Third Culture Kids’. ’Third Culture’ is a term used to describe children (usually American military brats or the offspring of missionaries) that were born in one culture but raised in another. It’s sad because usually these children have an incredibly difficult time adjusting to life in their home culture when they return. Though they were never fully able to assimilate into their host country’s culture, they find that when go back ‘home’, they aren’t fully able to assimilate there either. They’re stuck forever straddling two worlds; never fully feeling like they belong anywhere and having difficulty relating to anyone except for other ‘Third Culture Kids’.

Though no one can fully identify with someone else (as everyone’s life experience is unique), for those who’ve lived abroad, it seems particularly difficult. It seems ironic that some of the experiences we’ve had as travelers that make us most interesting, are also what make us wholly unrelatable; an alien race of no-culture nomads.

Why Long-Term Travel Ain’t All That and a Bag of Chips

Reannon Muth — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 04:31:05 +0000

"To the Clouds" by Claudio Vaccaro

Blogger Tina Su longed to escape the dull routine of daily life and thus, like so many of others who read about ‘mini-retirements’ in The 4-Hour Workweek, she put her job on hold and went on an extended tour through India. A few weeks into her trip however, she realized that the image she’d had of a mini-retirement being a glorious escape filled with ‘spiritual growth’ and ‘creative stimulation’ was an idealistic and romanticized one. Though she’d eliminated one routine (her job) she’d replaced it with another (sight-seeing) and soon grew bored and wanted to go home.

“After six weeks of traveling,” she wrote in the blog post ‘The Mini-Retirement Misconception‘, “I was starting to get bored. Sightseeing got old really fast, and I didn’t want to visit another fort or palace again. After eight weeks of floating around without real responsibilities, I was anxious to come home and be productive again.”

I could definitely relate. I spent four months in India and four months in Central America and discovered that four months was about a month too long. I learned that while I love living in a foreign country, wandering aimlessly through one? Not so much. I need the structure of a job or else I grow antsy and anxious.

A lot of travel writers and bloggers try to sell the idea of the vagabond lifestyle as this exciting, Huck-Finn-type adventure (and it can be) but what they often leave out is that it’s exhausting, lonely and even boring, as well.

Or as Tina put it:

“While traveling can enrich your life experience and enhance your understandings of other cultures, it will not make you happier and cannot be the solution to your discontentment at home. I’ve learned that, at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter what I’m doing, as long as I am being productive and contributing towards a greater cause other than myself. Regardless of what I’m doing, true happiness can only be found right now.”

Which Country Best Matches Your Personality?

Reannon Muth — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 21:55:58 +0000

Since the beginning of mankind, people have packed up and moved to avoid famine, warfare, religious persecution or (these days anyway) tanking housing markets. But when considering places to relocate, most people don’t think beyond the borders of their own country. When looking for a retirement destination, for instance, most people think Florida and rarely do they ever consider Lithuainia. But perhaps they’d be better suited to life in Lithuania and just don’t realize it. Because according to Brent Massey, author of Where in the World Do I Belong? Which Country’s Culture Fits Your Myers Briggs Personality Type?, Lithuania (as well as Serbia and Afghanistan) is brimming with creative, innovative and outspoken nonconformists. In fact, he offers up the theory that every country’s culture has a predominant personality type which coincides with one of the 16 personalities first outlined in the famous Myers-Briggs personality assessment model. According to his findings, Americans are hard-working and boisterous extroverts, for example, and Germans are serious, dependable introverts. These are, of course, sweeping generalizations, and the author is first to admit it. Most of the “proof” he offers is based on his personal observations and the opinions of friends and local university exchange students. He profiles 115 different countries but only interviews 400 people, which is hardly a large enough sample size to draw any concrete conclusions from it.

But it’s still an interesting theory. I’ve always felt like a bit of an outsider in my home country and have wondered if perhaps the United States just isn’t a good cultural fit for me. According to Massey, it isn’t. I’m an INFP (a thoughtful, creative introvert whose flexible and laid-back but easily bored by routine) whereas the predominant personality type in the United States (or at least the one that’s favored by society) is ESTJ (extroverted, detail-oriented and practical). The United States, according to Massey, is my polar opposite and his work would suggest that perhaps I’d be happier in Nepal or Burma. While I won’t be be mail-order-brideing myself to a Burmese rice farmer anytime soon, it’s certainly something to think about.

The following are descriptions of some of the 16 personality types, along with the countries Massey felt best corresponded with them.

If you’re unsure of your pesonality type, you can take a shortened version of the personality test on the this website. You’ll then receive a four-letter code that summarizes the way you interact with people, process information and perceive the world (E = Extrovert, I = Introvert, N = iNtuition, F = Feeling, T = Thinking and J = Judging). If you don’t see your personality type listed below, it’s because Massey wasn’t able to find a country that matched it (it looks like some people are destined to feel like outsiders no matter where they live!)

What do you think? Are some personality types more dominant in certain cultures than in others?

ESFP -The Entertainer

Personality Description: ESFP’s are spontaneous, optimistic and enjoy being the center of attention. They’re also out-going, social and crave excitement. An ESFP is a true ’people-person’ and dislikes being alone. Although ESFP’s prefer to avoid activities that require analytical or theoretical thinking, they have a practical side that make them skilled problem-solvers.

Country Matches: Mexico, Guatemala, the Bahamas, Jamaica, Chile, Peru, Colombia, Portugal, Romania, Greece, Malta, Turkey, Tibet, Australia, Bangladesh, Thailand, New Zealand, The Dominican Republic, South Africa, Melanesia Soloman Islands, Cyprus, Sri Lanka, American Samoa, Tanzania

ESTJ – The Overseer

St. Paul's Cathedral and London Eye by J.A. Acaide

Personality Description: Practical, straight-forward, honest and task-focused, ESTJ’s are natural-born leaders. They love to take charge and are skilled at planning and implementing new ideas. They’re fondness for rules and procedures, however, can sometimes lead people to see them as insensitive, especially because they tend to apply logic and reason to situations where other people’s feelings are involved. They’re self-confident and aggressive and have strong convictions and beliefs about the world, which, if they aren’t careful, can sometimes lead them to becoming too critical, rigid and narrow-minded. Outgoing and outspoken, they’re friendly and fun to be around and strive to create a secure and tradition-based environment for themselves and their families. Some psychologists have speculated that George W. Bush is an ESTJ.

Country Matches: USA, England, Austria, Slovenia, Hungary, Croatia, the Netherlands

ENFP – The Advocate

Relaxation - Belize Style by AJ Baxter

Personality Description: You could say that ENFP’s are in love with life. They’re enthusiastic, optimistic idealistic risk-takers who possess a zest and excitement for all of the possibilities life has to offer. They’re easily bored by routine and tasks that require attention to detail and have trouble with task-completion. They prefer the planning-stages of projects. While they’re warm and personable and talented at motivating and inspiring people to action, they can also fall into the trap of idolizing others, which can lead to disappointment when that person or situation doesn’t live up to their expectations. They’re skilled at seeing multiple possibilities and this, combined with their need for excitement and change, can make it difficult for ENFP’s to remain in relationships. They often have numerous careers in their lifetimes, which can sometimes cause people to see ENFP’s as aimless or scattered. But they’re very values-driven and are on a constant quest to find meaning in their lives as well as inner peace. ENFP’s are excellent verbal communicators and in the hands of a manipulative ENFP, this skill can be used to con or deceive people. But due to ENFP’s highly-evolved value systems, this is a rare occurrence.

Country Matches: Ireland, Italy, Denmark, Brazil, Bulgaria, Belize, Sudan, Saudi Arabia, Russia, Georgia, Mongolia, Kyrgystan and India

ENFJ – The Mentor

The Village of Tasiilaq, Greenland by Christine Zenino

Personality Description: ENFJ’s are charming, self-confident, honest and sensitive and have a knack for being able to ‘read’ people. They tend to place the needs of others before their own and feel happiest when helping or nurturing people. They’re generous, extremely social and place a high value on their personal relationships. They can also be sensitive to criticism and because they tend to see everything from a human angle, are not good at working strictly with facts and figures. Former president of the French Republic, François Mitterrand, was thought to have been an ENFJ.

Country Matches: Greenland, Ghana, French-Speaking Canada, French-Speaking Belgium

ENTP – The Visionary

Personality Description: ENTP’s are quick-thinkers and love to debate. They love to analyze ideas and are constantly in search of ways to improve the world they live in. They’re resourceful, extremely clever, innovative and curious which makes them great entrepreneurs, inventors or lawyers. They’re quick to assess a situation, recognize a pattern and then come up with a solution. But sometimes this logical approach to decision-making can cause ENTP’s to overlook the human-side of the equation and hurt people’s feelings.

Country Matches: Lithuania, Serbia, Afghanistan

ISTJ – The Duty Fulfiller

Personality Description: According to research referenced in his book, Massey claims that this personality type often suffers the most from the effects of culture shock and have trouble adjusting to life abroad.

ISTJ’s possess a strong understanding of the differences between right and wrong. They are extremely thorough and once they’ve begun a project, they won’t feel satisfied until they’ve successfully completed it. They are serious, quiet, goal-oriented and extremely focused. They can concentrate for long periods of time and are generally successful at anything they put their mind to.

Although very responsible and dependable, among friends, ISTJ’s have been known to have an an odd sense of humor. They are loyal friends and believe above all else, in organization and in upholding traditions. George Washington is thought to have been an ISTJ.

Country Matches: Germany, Finland, Estonia, Switzerland

INFP – The Dreamer

Photo by Tranuf. Photo taken in Burma.

Personality Description: INFP’s easily adapt to new situations and are flexible and laid-back. That is, until a value they hold dear is challenged, then they can become quite aggressive. They’re loyal, reflective, idealistic and creative with a highly-developed skill for the written language. They never lose their sense of wonder and are curious and keen observers, with an intense desire to understand and help others. They don’t place high importance in the mundane details of every day life and are at their best when allowed to devote themselves fully to a cause or activity that they feel passionate about. INFP’s are perfectionists and this can make it difficult for them to see the value in their own accomplishments. William Shakespeare has been labeled an INFP as has Jacqueline Kennedy and Helen Keller.

Country Matches: Nepal and Burma

ISFP – The Artist

Belgiump by Eole

Pesonality Description: Extremely creative and with highly-developed senses, ISFP’s make great artists. Independent, quiet and often private people, ISFP’s can be difficult to get to know. But ISFP’s are caring, sensitive individuals and very loyal friends.

Country Matches: Dutch-Speaking Belgium, China, Cambodia, Micronesia, Lichtenstein, Slovakia

ESFJ – The Caregiver

Personality Description: ESFJ take things quite literally and base decisions on concrete facts. They’re warm-hearted, conscientious and responsible. They frequently place the needs of others before their own. They excel at activities that require an eye for detail and thrive in structured, controlled environments. They dislike uncertainty and prefer to live a life steeped in the traditions upheld by their communities. They desire acceptance and praise from others and although ESFJ’s can be generous, they give with an expectation of receiving acknowledgement in return. They are sensitive and tend to get their feelings hurt quite easily, but this sensitivity is also what makes them exceptionally good at bringing the best out in people.

Country Matches: English-Speaking Canada, Costa Rica, Ukraine, Namibia, Uganda, Taiwan and South Korea

ISFJ – The Defender

Hmong Village Kids by HKmPua

Personality Description: ISFJ’s are traditional and kind-hearted and place emphasis on maintaining a harmonious and cooperative living environment. Their loyalty, observation skills, sensitivity and hyper-vigilance is what has earned this personality type the title of “Defender”.

ISFJ’s have rich inner worlds but tend to shy away from expressing their feelings. This can lead to frustration or depression if they don’t have an outlet for their intense emotions. They’re very sensitive to criticism and can be very hard on themselves when they make mistakes. They also have a difficult time saying ‘no’ to people.

ISFJ’s take their responsibilities very seriously and for this reason, are very dependable. They have excellent memories and are detail-oriented. But perhaps their best trait is their sensitivity to the feelings of others and ability to always see the best in people. Mother Theresa was said to have been an ISFJ.

Country Matches: Japan, Vietnam, Singapore, Laos, Latvia and Sweden

ENTJ – The Executive

Young Entrepreneur by Sailing Nomad

Personality Description: ENTJ’s are confident, opinionated, competitive, ambitious and analytical, which is what makes them ideal personalities for leadership roles. They have a natural ability to absorb and analyze large amounts of information and then make quick, often accurate assessments. They have a low tolerance for inefficiency or for people who don’t share their same perspective. Sometimes they can come across as overbearing or aggressive but they genuinely love people, are excellent conversationalists and can be quite sentimental at times.

Country Matches: France, Jordan

Sources: Where in the World Do I Belong? by Brent Massey, The Personality Pages, My Personality.Info

When the Possibilities are Endless

Reannon Muth — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 18:31:44 +0000

I’m flying to Hawaii tomorrow. I could be staying there anywhere from a week to the rest of my life. Which course my life takes is entirely contingent on whether or not I find a job within the next six days. If I do, then I’ll stay in Honolulu and if I don’t, I’ll either move back to California or to Las Vegas, Chicago or Portland. My life is at a major crossroads and the number of directions it could go in are endless. It’s overwhelming to say the least.

Doors All Around by Pareeerica

Eat, Pray, Love author Elizabeth Gilbert describes this nicely in her book Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage. After spending time in a Vietnamese village where people’s paths in life are chosen for them by the circumstances in which they were born, she wonders if perhaps one of the problems of modern, western society is that people have too many choices. She suggests that this may be what’s behind why modern society has become a ‘neurosis-generating machine’. In the face of so many seemingly equally wonderful opportunities, we’re terrified that we’ll chose the wrong one. And we therefore spend much of our lives second-guessing ourselves and comparing our lives with one another’s and with what our lives could have been, had we chosen differently.

Here’s an exert, taken from pages 45 and 46 in the hard-cover edition.

“The problem, simply put, is that we cannot choose everything simultaneously. So we live in danger of becoming paralyzed by indecision, terrified that every choice might be the wrong choice…Equally disquieting are the times when we do make a choice, only to later feel as though we have murdered some other aspect of our being by settling on one single concrete decision. By choosing Door Number Three, we fear we have killed off a different – but equally critical – piece of our soul that could only have been made manifest by walking through Door Number One or Door Number Two…

…Now imagine a life in which every day a person is presented with not two or even three but dozens of choices, and you can begin to grasp why the modern world has become, even with all its advantages, a neurosis-generating machine of the highest order. In a world of such abundant possibility, many of us simply go limp from indecision. Or we derail our life’s journey again and again, backing up to try the doors we neglected on the first round, desperate to get it right this time…

…All these choices and all this longing can create a weird kind of haunting in our lives – as though the ghosts of all our other unchosen, possibilities linger forever in a shadow world around us, continuously asking, ‘Are you certain this is what you really wanted?’”

No related posts.

Which do you Prefer: Traveling or Living Abroad?

Reannon Muth — Sun, 23 May 2010 03:58:13 +0000

Photo by Helminadia Ranford

I never thought of my ability to live abroad as a skill, but according to Miss Move Abroad and Miss Elizabeth Gilbert, it’s something that some people are better suited for than others.

The following is an exert from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Committed, (shout-out to Miss Move Abroad for being the first to post this). Committed is the follow-up book to her memoir Eat Pray Love (which Miss Move Abroad cleverly describes as “self-realization and travel porn for the thinking woman”). In the exert, Elizabeth suggests that foreigners overseas fall into two distinct categories: those who were born to travel and those who were born to live abroad.

Which one are you?

From the book, Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert (pages 216-221):

“Like a fussy baby who can fall asleep in a moving car, I have always been comforted with the tempo of travel. I’d always assumed that Felipe operated on the same principle; since he was the most widely traveled person I’ve ever met. But he didn’t seem to enjoy any of this drifting.

…The reality about Felipe, as I was beginning to realize, is that he’s both the best traveler I’ve ever met and by far the worst. He hates strange bathrooms and dirty restaurants and uncomfortable trains and foreign beds—all of which pretty much define the act of traveling. Given a choice, he will always select a lifestyle of routine, familiarity, and reassuringly boring everyday practices. All of which might make you assume that the man is not fit to be a traveler at all.

But you would be wrong to assume that, for here is Felipe’s traveling gift, his superpower, the secret weapon that renders him peerless: He can create a familiar habitat of reassuringly boring everyday practices for himself anyplace, if you just let him stay in one spot. He can assimilate absolutely anywhere on the planet in the space of about three days, and then he’s capable of staying put in that place for the next decade or so without complaint.

This is why Felipe has been able to live all over the world. Not merely travel, but live. Over the years, he has folded himself into societies from South American to Europe, from the Middle East to the South Pacific. He arrives somewhere utterly new, decides he likes the place, moves right in, learns the language, and instantly becomes a local.”