10 Again

My life Stateside feels like a chapter out of Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing. I’m (temporarily!!!) staying at my parents house in Northern California and not only does it feel like my life in Japan never existed, but it also feels like the last 16 years of my life never existed as well. I’m friendless, carless, jobless and phoneless. I snack on PP&J and granola bars while watching reruns of Law and Order and last weekend I went with my parents to the Mall’s cineplex to watch Star Trek. I can’t help but think that I’m living the life of a 10-year-old on summer vacation.

I no longer have a driver’s license (it got suspended due to excessive moving violations) so I’ve inherited my mom’s three speed bike, which I pedal back and forth to the library every other day. It’s turquoise and is decorated with Hawaiian flower decals and makes this annoying whirring, clanking noise. So not cool. The kids at the local skate park all stop and stare whenever I ride by and I pretend not to notice.

My best and only friend is my mom’s dog. His name is “Happy Camper” and he’s a vegetarian. His favorite foods are carrots and apple cores. He looks like a mop. Together, we take walks along the beach and read books about brain science.

“But you have a bank account.” This was the reason my dad gave to contradict my assertion that I’m living the life of a 10-year-old.

“Dad, 10-year-olds have banks accounts,” I argued. “And they probably have more money in their savings than I do. And…” I added, “They have cell phones.”

I know that this is only temporary. And I know that soon I’ll be off on adventure number 345 and I’ll look back fondly on this month- long vacation in Limbo. But it’s hard to look at this as a summer break when all of my thoughts are preoccupied with the stress of jump-starting my Adult life all of over again. I have to start from scratch, beginning with pin-pointing where in the wide World I want to live next.

The options are limitless and so overwhelming that it’s enough to make me want to crawl back into bed, pull the covers over my head and sleep until my mom comes in and scolds me for not doing the dishes.

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11 thoughts on “10 Again

  1. Ha ha ha You certainly have an ‘older’ sense of humor and creative writing talent of a 26 (?) year old. Thanks for a good laugh.

  2. Why thank you. I try my best to see the funny side of life. And yeah, I’m 26. 26 and a half! Can you believe it?

  3. Welcome back to America. Well…if you’re in San Francisco, you’re not in America. You’re in another country altogether.

  4. No, I haven’t been to Africa yet. And I want to go volunteer there. Know any good volunteer programs (besides the Peace Corps)?

    I think I have yet to live anywhere truly ‘American’…Maybe I should before I give up on living in this country all together. Go live on a farm in Kansas or Oklahoma or something. Siiiigh…I don’t know.

    Still looking for a job…

  5. oh man, returning home and feeling like Taiwan was just a dream is such a big fear of mine.

    Keep us posted on job ops.
    Hopefully you find something soon!

  6. enjoyed your post, I think that you’re one very brave person for being able to live your life like that, and that maybe the reason why I’m so caught up in reading your blog. Hope that you find something that you’ll be truly passionate about and have fun while doin! Brighter days ahead!

  7. Thanks Bohochick,

    But I don’t know that I’m brave for my ‘living my life like that’…It’s the only way I know how. My parents are both big travelers. My mom was a flight attendant and my dad traveled a lot with work so I was always taught that I could live anywhere in the world if I wanted. The first time I lived abroad I was 15. Sooo…It’s just sort of seems natural.

    But it’s hard too…to make big decisions. And to move around so much. A lot of thinking goes into these decisions believe it or not, which it might not seem like from what I post on here. I’m not as good at making rash, snap decisions as I make myself out to be, I think. I worry and stress about it a lot. ; )

  8. I agree with you about Japan feeling like a dream, I’ve been gone from Japan for 1 year and 9 months and for the most part it seems like all of the people I met and the things I did in Japan happened in some vague, distant place, removed from real-life..it’s a strange feeling.

    I also know what you mean about feeling like a 10 year old again, and I think that always happens when you move back home. I’m currently living at home again until my boyfriend and I find an apartment together, and if I felt like a 10 year old again it would be an improvement! My mother insists on doing my laundry, dusting my room, and giving me money~even though I refuse and have a full-time job.

    Have you ever considered teaching English in Dubai or someplace else in the middle east? I’ve heard the pay is great!! I’m still pondering the idea for myself..

  9. Reannon, every post I read seems to hit home with me in some way. This one specifically is pretty incredible because I’ve been home for 4 months now trying to figure out what comes next after my first solo trip ended prematurely. Luckily, I’ve gotten into school and the hope is that I don’t come out with too much debt so that I can get down to Patagonia overland and keep going from there. For the time being, however, I’m sitting at home watching reruns of 90’s Nickelodeon shows, downloading music, and playing PC games. I haven’t had a job either selling things here and there to keep me afloat until school in January. I guess one good thing that’s come out of this experience has been house-sitting for coworkers of my mothers. It’s a good experience and something that I’d like to do while I’m traveling in the future.

    Kudos on this blog, seriously.

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