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My “I’m Too Old for this Sh*t” List (The Travel Edition)

bar from How I Met Your Mother

I was watching “How I Met Your Mother”  today when something caught my attention. One of the characters, Ted, had created what he referred to as a “Murtaugh List”; a list of activities he felt that now in his late 20s, he’d grown too old for. The list was named for Roger Murtaugh, a fictional character in the Lethal Weapons franchise who is fond of saying “I’m getting too old for this sh*t”. Here’s what was on Ted’s list.

Ted’s Murtaugh List

Pulling an all-nighter
Getting an ear pierced
Hanging posters without frames
Crashing on a friend’s futon instead of getting a hotel room
Eating an entire pizza in one sitting
Doing laundry at mom’s house
Putting off going to the doctor
Doing shots with strangers
Leaving an annoying two-person message on your answering machine
Helping someone move out of a sixth floor walkup in exchange for pizza and beer
Doing a Beer Bong
Going to a rave

Although I’m a strong believer in the philosophy that “you’re only as old as you think are”, I’ve recently turned 30, and so I figured I’m the ideal age to create my own list.

My Murtaugh List (the travel edition)

* Staying in youth hostels

Bunkbeds, communal bathrooms and waking up to people having sex and/or puking is not something I feel I need to experience again. Though I’m not against staying in a hostel (I stayed in one a few months ago in Argentina), I doubt I’ll ever (willingly) stay in one of those party hostels again. Ugh. Do I sound old or what? I’m not as lame that last sentence may have made me sound…I promise.

* Partying til the wee hours in the morning

Though there was a time in my life when I rarely saw a new city/country during daylight hours and most of the sight-seeing I did was confined to the inside of a disco or a bar, I now rarely go out when I travel. Sure, I might check out the local happy hour or visit the bar to enjoy some live music, but you won’t find me stumbling back to the hotel at eight in the morning. Nope, those days are over. And you know what? I’m not the least bit sad about it. Been there, done that.

* Tequila shots

Do you really need an explanation?

* Going on vacation when I can’t afford it

When I was 21, I spent a few days in Vienna, Austria and ate nothing but peanut butter sandwiches because I was too broke to eat out or even buy groceries. These days I put off vacations for a few months and save money so that I can do it right (I.e., afford to eat out when I feel like it).

* Posting 92457982084 photos of myself on Facebook

Okay, so I love taking photos and I definitely post a crap ton of travel photos whenever I return home from a trip, but I’m not in most of them. I think my travel bragging stage is over. Maybe. Hopefully? You can be the judge…

* Buying a plane ticket that has multiple, out-of-the-way layovers because it’s cheaper

Oh, Ryan Air…This one is for you! It amazes me to think about how many times I flew in the opposite direction and spent the night on the airport floor in order to take advantage of your 1 Euro flights. Now? Not so much…

* Taking the bus/hitch-hiking instead of coughing up the money for a cab

I’m all about taking the bus when you’re doing it for the cultural experience. I totally embrace the “slow travel” philosophy and definitely agree that you can see a lot more of a city when traveling by bus than by rental car or taxi. But taking a bus when it’s not convenient and you’re doing so purely to save a few bucks? Naw. I’m over the “let’s see how little money I can spend while on vacation, even if it means I’m miserable and hungry the entire time” stage of life. Now I gladly fork over the 10 or 15 extra bucks for a taxi if it’s raining or if I need a ride to the airport.

So…that’s my Murtaugh List…What’s yours?

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